Piled on the couch with these jokers after their first day of 10th and 8th grade. I had to BREATHE LIFE into them with homemade calzones (me) and banana bread (Sydney). I just said to both: “Just try to stay awake until 9:00.” They haven’t accomplished a 9:00pm-6:30am sleep cycle since the last day of school. Recycling this from 2017 because it is the truest thing I have ever said:
By the end of your cherubs' first week of school, they are:
D O N E.
Listen to me: do not go to "celebration dinner" Friday night, do not go to the late football game, do not decide to run errands, do not make big plans, do not ask one million questions, do not force them to talk about everything, do not attempt to execute ANYTHING AT ALL in which your expectations include children who are pleasant.
They are like overfilled balloons. Should you accidentally push them too hard by, for example, asking them to chew with their mouths closed or making suggestions for dinner or any other unreasonable pressure, they will violently burst and ruin the thing you were dumbly considering as a Fun Family Situation.
Your Friday night plans after the first week of school need to involve a couch, some blankets, a pizza, and a movie. That is it. That is all anyone can handle. Your kid will make it past the first twenty minutes tops. They are all goners. Do not put them in the car and try to go somewhere, because they will turn your car into the Crazy Train.
Your mission should you choose to accept it because you are a Smart Person is to do & plan nothing the first weekend after school starts. Let their little bodies catch up. They are exhausted after their summer of being sloth children who now have to think and pay attention for 7 hours a day.
Plus, first week of school emotions. Plus, change. Plus, new scenarios and teachers & students & schedules. Plus, that one mean girl. Plus, figuring out where to sit at lunch. Plus, all the new rules. Plus, recess politics. Plus, homework. Plus, did their clothes/shoes/hair/backpack fit in right. Plus, the bus. Plus, they learned the F word on the playground & everything feels weird.
Trust your friend Jen: couch, blanket, pizza, movie. That's your weekend. You’re welcome. Tag your friends who NEED TO KNOW 👇🏼 ... See MoreSee Less